Barleysheath

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-When are you due?

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-April 20. Hitler’s birthday.

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-What is the name of your gynecologist?

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-Dr. Rufus T. Barleysheath.

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-Where was the baby conceived?

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-In my vagina.

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-What names are you considering?

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-Rufus T. Barleysheath.

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-How are you feeling?

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-*Oh a little achy and nauseous, but I’m hangin’ in there!*

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-Are you pregnant?

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-No… way that I’m not.

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-Liz Lemon and Carmen Chau

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Ventricular Septal Secure Socket Layer Defect

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Dear Stanley (my NSA angel),

Sorry I haven’t had time to write you in a while. I’ve been busy trying to change all my passwords (well, at least the important ones) because of the Heartbleed bug.1 I hear you guys knew about it for a while now. Where’s the heads up, buddy? I thought we were friends.

It sucks that it only takes one guy missing a couple lines of code to totally undermine security on about half of the internet. I bet you guys wish you were that efficient. So did you have to change your passwords too? Probably not. Whatever proprietary security software you guys use would probably still be secure even if everyone’s password is “guest”.

Anyways, feel free to keep photoshopping your vans out of my photos. Please take it easy on the filters though.

Til next time,

Craig2

image credit: Global Panorama


  1. XKCD has the best explainer of the bug that I have seen: Heartbleed bug 
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  3. This mostly has nothing to do with Heartbleed, but I always think of it when I see “IP addresses”. Me and him are gettin’ on the internet.   
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